Impossible Love
 by: Hankster

© 2009 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 12

The next morning found us waiting for the elevator to the underground parking.  As agreed, Mac was going to drive me to the train station, and have use of the car all day.  When the elevator door opened, there stood Bob and Robert.

“Hey guys,” Bob almost yelled, “are you all moved in yet?”

“We are, but our furniture isn’t due in until tomorrow morning,” Mac replied.

“If you aren’t set up yet, you’re more than welcome to have dinner with us tonight,” Robert extended an invitation.

“Thanks guys, we really appreciate the invitation,” I said, “but we are having dinner at my sister’s home tonight.  She lives in Fresh Meadows.”

“Well welcome home anyway, and maybe we can do something together over the weekend.  If you like vintage films, there’s a couple of classics showing at The Thalia this weekend.”  I knew that The Thalia was a Manhattan movie house that showed artsy-fartsy films.

“Thanks,” I said, “but I expect we’ll be busy unpacking and setting up all weekend.  It sounds great, however, and we’d like to take a rain check.”

“Sure. No problem,” Bob said, as they headed to separate parking spaces.  “See you around.”  They both gave us a friendly wave good bye.

Getting served with divorce papers in the office yesterday should have been enough trauma for the whole month.  What happened this morning sent me into a tailspin, from which I could only recover using all my strength.  The minute I got into the office, Izzy was there to pounce on me.

“Please Wallie,”  he said.  “Can you come into my office.  I gotta speak to you in private.”

“Sure,” I said.  There it was, that dreadful feeling.  I was convinced that Izzy found out about me, and I was about to be fired.

Izzy not only closed his office door, he locked it.  Then he buzzed his secretary and told her that we were not to be disturbed.

I was really worried now and I blurted out, “Izzy what is it?  What’s wrong?  You’re scaring me.”  He sat down at his desk and motioned for me to occupy a chair facing him.  “Tell me!” I begged.

“You know I have a daughter.  She’s my only child.  She married a career army officer almost twenty years ago.  He was a great guy and he treated my daughter like a princess.  They had one child, a son.  Wallie, I tell you, my grandson is a brilliant scholar, and such a good person.  Anyway, my son in law was killed in Iraq two year’s ago.  He was not of my faith, but we buried him with full military honors in a good Christian burial.”  Izzy started to cry.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “I loved that man so much.”

“Last night my daughter and my grandson came to dinner.  My Gloria made a real feast.  During dinner, we were all telling jokes and in general we were having a good time.  Then I started to tell an innocent little joke.  I meant nothing by it, I swear.”  Izzy hesitated.

“What was the joke about?” I ventured to ask.

“It was a little derogatory.”

“Derogatory to whom?”  I was determined to make Izzy spit it out.

“Well, it was about fairies.  I was making fun of them.  It was just in fun.  You gotta have a sense of humor.”

“I take it someone at the table was offended,” I offered.

“Yeah,” Izzy sighed, “my grandson.”

“Was he mad because he doesn’t like to see anyone being slurred, or was he mad because he’s gay?” I really wanted to know.

“My grandson jumped up and in a really sweet voice, a soft voice, he said to me, ‘Grandpa there is something I have to tell you.  I swore I would tell you before I left for college, but I have been so scared.  Now you have to know the truth.  I’m seventeen, almost eighteen.  I’m going to college in the fall.  I don’t want to hide who I am from anyone anymore.  I’m gay and that’s never going to change.  I’m still me.  You loved me a minute ago.  I hope you can love me even now, because I love you more than I can ever tell you in words.’”

I remained silent so Izzy continued.

“He looked at me and I swear Wallie, a light shone out of his eyes.  His body was enveloped in an aura like an angel.  I felt like God was looking at me and maybe judging me.  I grabbed him and hugged him and we both cried together for a long time.

“I assured him over and over that I loved him, and that nothing could change that.  While I was holding him and he was sobbing on my shoulder, I had an epiphany.  I realized that if anyone would hurt this boy, or poke fun at him, I would be capable of bringing harm to that person.  I thought of all the times I had made derogatory statements about gays when I didn’t even know them.  I was ashamed, and I asked Billy to forgive me.  He couldn’t understand why I was asking for forgiveness.”

Billy!!  A light shining from his eyes!! An aura enveloping his body.  I had seen a boy like that.  Could this Billy be Marlene’s son?  Could she be Izzy’s daughter?

“Izzy,” I asked,  “what’s your daughter’s name?”

“Marlene.  Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” I said.  “Why did you tell me all this and why did you lock the door?”  I thought my questions were reasonable.

“Billy told me that he had nobody to help him through this, and then I thought of someone who could help,” Izzy said.  My heart skipped more than one beat.

“Who?” I asked innocently.

“Your friend in Buffalo, Tom Baker.  He’s coming down soon.  Do you think you could ask him to have a little talk with Billy, or even a long talk?”

“You think Tom is gay?” I asked.  I was truly shocked, not because Izzy outed him to me, but that Izzy knew that he was gay.

“Sure,” Izzy assured me.  “Everybody knows.  Don’t tell me you don’t know.”

“I can honestly answer that I didn’t know.  How does everyone know but me.  I’m his friend.”  The fact is I really didn’t know until I heard Dom’s voice by accident.

“How long have you known and how did you find out?”  I had to know.

“He was in New York on business one time.  I can’t remember when it was, maybe four or five year’s ago.  Anyway, I knew he was a bachelor, but he kept talking about a house ‘we’ were buying or about a place ‘we’ went to visit, and so on, so I figured the other half of ‘we’ was not a woman.”

“Did it change how you felt about him?”

“Funny thing.  It didn’t matter to me at all.  I love Tom like I love you; like I love Billy,” he said.  I let it slide that he put me in with Billy and Tom.

“Wow!” I said.  “I’m speechless.  I know Tom, and I am sure he’ll be happy to speak to your grandson.”

“You’ll talk to him, then,” Izzy sighed.  Thank you my boy.”

I ran back to my office and closed the door.  I decided to lock it also.  The first call I made was to Marlene.  “Can you give me a minute?” I asked.  “I just talked to your father, Izzy Loeffler, about Billy.  Surely when you took my employment history, you must have realized that I worked for him.  Why didn’t you say something?”

“I was afraid you would out Billy.  We both felt that he should tell my father himself and in his own way.  Did you tell him about yourself?”

“No, not yet.  But I intend to tell him today.  He outed my friend Tom to me.  I told him I didn’t know that Tom was gay.  That was the truth until a few days ago, but Tom is scared to death that Izzy will find out.  I’ve got to call him and relieve his anxiety, and then I’m going to take Izzy to lunch and tell him about me.”

“I know my father,” Marlene said, “and for all his bluster, he’ll still love you.”

My next call was on the inter office phone.  I shook as I heard Tom.  “Baker, here,” he said.

“I know it’s you,” I said curtly.  “I dialed your private number.  Don’t talk and don’t interrupt.  I’ve got something unbelievable to tell you.”  I told Tom what had transpired just moments ago, and there was stunned silence at the other end.  “Tom,” are you still with me?” I asked.

“Yes, yes.  Do you know how relieved I am?  I don’t have to hide my identity at work anymore.  I can talk about Dominic freely and Izzy has the heart I always knew he had.  You don’t have to tell him how happy I’ll be to talk to Billy.  I’m going to call him myself.”

“When you do call him,” I said, “as far as Izzy knows I just found out about you today.  Let me transfer your call to him right now.”

After I transferred the call, my phone showed a red light indicating it was in use.  I waited until the light went out and I hurried to Izzy’s office.  After he told me to come in, I asked if we could have lunch together because I wanted to speak to him about Billy, Tom and other matters.  I threw Billy in because I figured he wouldn’t turn down an invitation to talk about his grandson.

“Sure,” he said.  “That will be lovely.

At lunch, I started the ball rolling by asking Izzy if he believed in the theory of six degrees of separation.

“Are you kidding?” he asked me.  “In my experience it’s more like three degrees.  Why? You got a small world story for me?”

“Wait until you hear,” I said.  “The real estate agent who is handling the purchase of my house is your daughter, Marlene.  May I say we hit it off right away and became friends, not just business associates.  She introduced me to Billy.  When I looked at him, I saw his aura that you were talking about.  There is something spiritual about that boy.  You can tell he’s going to do great things, and that people will always trust and follow him.”

“You saw it too?” Izzy asked with a tear in his eye.

“When I found out that you were talking about Billy and Marlene, my first call was to her, not to Tom Baker.  She knew who I worked for, and I asked her why she didn’t say anything.  She told me that she was afraid that I would out Billy, and she didn’t want that to happen.  She wanted Billy to tell you himself.”

“Yes,” Izzy said. “I’m glad the boy did.  How did it come about that Marlene and Billy told you that he was gay?”

I had maneuvered the conversation to this exact moment.  I took Mac’s ever fraying photo from my wallet, and vowed to get a real photo, not a computer print out to show people.  I unfolded the picture and laid it out in front of Izzy.  Mac was smiling back at Izzy with his private area covered by a book.

“So,” Izzy said, “I see a very handsome man with a terrific body, but it’s a kind of dirty picture.  Why are you showing it to me?”

“The guy’s name is Cornelius MacNeal, Mac for short.  Izzy, you’re not only my boss, you’re a dear friend.  Since my dad died, I think of you as my father so please hear me out.  Mac and I bought the apartment together.  We are life partners.  I’m gay also.”

Well of course I left Izzy speechless.  After awhile he said,  “Oy!  You got any more surprises for me today?  How much more can this old heart of mine take?  I guess Marlene and Billy know.”

“Yes.  It was Marlene who asked us to mentor Billy.  She wants him to have positive role models.  That’s how I knew he was gay and why she didn’t tell me she was your daughter.  The crazy thing is that I really didn’t know about Tom and he didn’t know about me.  We just found out, which will probably bring us even closer.”

“Whew, well let’s hear about your Mac.  I want to know all about him.  If you’re like a son to me, I suppose he is too.”

“I met Mac in Buffalo, and we pretty much fell in love at first sight.”  Izzy cringed when I said that, but he didn’t say anything.  It was going to take a lot for him to accept all this. 

“When I was robbed in my hotel room, imagine my surprise to find that Mac was the detective on the case.  I had never even asked what he did for a living.  Anyway, after my split with Marsha, we were free to be together.  He has moved down here, and he starts with the Valley Stream police department a week from Monday.  His moving truck will be here tomorrow.  I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

Izzy graciously said, “I can’t wait to meet him also.  A policeman, yet.  That will be a real good role model for Billy.”

“Would you like to hear about Tom’s partner?” I asked with a gleam in my eye.

“Why not.  Let me get it all at once so it can all sink in.”

Again Izzy’s eyebrows raised in appreciation when he heard that Dom was a college professor.  Izzy had had very little formal education.  He was a self made man in every sense of the word.  The bottom line was that his respect for educated people far exceeded what that trait was actually worth in many of them. 

“This man, I can’t wait to meet, either,” he said.

When the check came, I argued with Izzy.  I insisted that I had invited him to lunch and I should pay.  “Your money has a foul odor.  It stinks here,” he said, “so put it back in your wallet where it won’t smell so bad.”

When we stood up to leave, Izzy gave me a hug.  “You and Tom and your partners are wonderful role models for Billy.  I’m glad he has you.  When Tom and Dominick get here, I’m taking everyone out to dinner, so I can meet everybody.  Gloria cooks better than any chef in a restaurant, but I don’t want her to spend so much energy on such a big crowd.  These days she gets tired so easy.  I’m concerned about her.”

Back in the office, I called Marlene and filled her in.  “See,” she said.  “I told you so.  My father is a big bear, with a big roar, but an even bigger heart.  My late husband, Edward adored him.  My dad took his death really hard.  I know he’s not over it yet.”

The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever, but finally I was rushing to Penn Station to grab my commuter train.  Once I was seated, I called Mac and told him what time the train would arrive in Valley Stream. 

“Every day is an adventure,” I said.  “Wait until you hear today’s news.”  I hung up immediately so he wouldn’t bug me to tell him.  This news needed savoring over dinner.

Mac was waiting for me at the train station just as Marsha used to do.  I hopped into the passenger seat and gave Mac a peck on the cheek.

“What’s the big news?” he asked.

“Later,” I said, “over dinner.  “It’s complicated and I want to get it exactly as it happened.  This way my sister and Allen can get the news at the same time.”

We went home where I freshened up, and dressed down.  Then off we went to my sister’s house.  Her older boy, Allen, Jr., aged seven, answered the door.  He leaped into my arms.  “Uncle Jonathan, Uncle Jonathan,” he kept yelling, obviously delighted to see me.  I wrapped him in my arms, and hugged him tightly.

“Who’s that?” He asked pointing at Mac.

“He’s your new Uncle Mac.  His real name is Cornelius, but you don’t want to be spreading that around.”  Junior laughed.

I put him down just as Sammy ran up to me and wrapped his arms around my leg.  Sammy is three.  He just hugged my leg without saying a word.  I had to pull him off me so I could walk into the house.

Jenna was running toward me.  She’s two years younger than I, but she was always the feisty one.  “You bastard,” she yelled at me as she stuck her face in mine.  “How could you not tell me that you were gay, and about your partner?  I could kill you for not confiding in me.”  Then she put her arms around my neck and started to cry. 

Allen walked up behind her and stroked her back.  He looked at Mac, stuck out his hand and said, “Hi Mac, I’m Allen, and I want to be the first to welcome you to the family.” 

The children had been pre-fed.  Jenna put Sammy to bed right after we arrived, and permitted Junior to watch television for a while longer in the den.

When we sat down to dinner, the first course was grapefruit halves.  “Start talking, buster,” Jenna said to me, and I did.  I began my narrative going back to when I was barely reaching puberty.  I admitted to my sister that I knew I was gay even then, and how I tried to hide it by doing all the wrong things.

By the time we reached dessert, they knew how unhappy I was with Marsha, but none of it was Marsha’s fault.  I told them how I met Mac and how we used to see each other every time I got to Buffalo; how I had been robbed and how Mac was the detective on the case; how I met Jonathan Mallory and afterwards his partner, Jake.  I told them about the biggest shock of all; finding out that my best friend in Buffalo was gay, and how I met his partner, Dominick. My story progressed to buying the apartment and how the real estate agent turned out to be Izzy’s daughter, who had a gay son.

I laughed when I told her that Izzy asked me to ask Tom to mentor his grandson, and that apparently I was the only one who didn’t know that my friend was gay.  When the narrative was concluded, Jenna asked, how after all these years of silence, I got the courage to tell Marsha.  This was the only lie I told them.  I described the hickey, but I attributed it to Mac not to Jake. 

“When she saw it, she thought it was another woman, so I took the opportunity to tell her that it was a man.  She didn’t believe me until I showed her Mac’s picture.  She kicked me right out of the house.”

When dinner was over, I volunteered to put Junior to bed.  He was half asleep already and I met little resistance.  The others cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher and we went into the den.

“Does anyone want an after dinner drink?” Allen asked.  Mac took him up on the offer, but I declined.  I was the designated driver.

Jenna kept staring at Mac, and I knew she was dying to say something.  “Mac,” she finally spoke up.  “Without taking anything away from my handsome husband and my equally handsome brother, I gotta tell you, that you are drop dead gorgeous.  Forgive me if I drool.  I always said that the best looking guys, in fact all the good guys, were gay.”

“Why thank you, Jenna.  That was so sweet of you.  As soon as we square away our condo, we’ll make a family dinner.  You have two great kids.”

“You two would make great parents,” Allen said.  “You should consider adoption, or better yet, a surrogate mother.”

“Wow, that’s a heavy thought,” Mac said.  “Who knows what the future might bring?”

To be continued...

Posted: 06/05/09